I’m not trying to sound like a raging loon or anything, but there is nothing more annoying than when a man consistently brings up my non-existant “boyfriend” situation.

I don’t mind if I’m getting to know someone and he casually asks me if I have one. Actually, I don’t even mind if anyone asks at all. It’s when all they consistently bring up the “boyfriend” issue. Yes, I was single 24 hours ago… still am… shut. the. hell. up.

You guys know what I’m talking about. When you’re so horny that you’re chomping at the bit to see if your next conquest is available. If she’s single, cool, if she’s not, even better!

It’s sooooo juvenile when all you talk  about is why I’m single or why I broke up with my ex or WHY DOESN’T SOMEBODY LIKE ME HAVE AN AMAZING MAN IN HER LIFE.  First off, I do, I call him my father, and nobody is going to compare to him.  The day I do find that person, I will be his wedded wife. 🙂  Second, it’s a tiny bit offensive (while also flattering) that you’re rubbing in the fact that someone you respect (or something of that nature) doesn’t have a boyfriend, like that makes me less important or something.  Third, I don’t give a crap about being single, so why are you beating a dead horse?

But girls are not into this. In fact, it gets annoying. Much like we get sick of asking you to shower after your workout or brush your teeth before bed, or take out the trash when it’s overflowing, or anything we say while you’re watching the game that we have to repeat, it’s infuriating to have to explain ourselves 7,000 times. Nobody likes it,  it’s not cute or coy, and we’re completely aware that you find us attractive at this point. Not to mention we start to find you unattractive, dull and incapable of carrying on an adult conversation. No points won there.

It reminds me of high school when I would ask my best guy friend (who I crushed on, hard) who he was seeing and would want to know EVERY DETAIL because I was living vicariously through the stuck up hoe bag.  We know your alterior motive for asking is because you find us attractive. Otherwise, if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be asking at all, now would you?

Take it from me: if you’re curious about her dating status, just ask her  out on a date! Then she can be like, yes, or pretend she has a boyfriend to avoid an awkward situation.