The fruit is forbidden for a reason

ALRIGHT men.  Put on your seatbelts because I’m about to throw you all through the ringer.

What is it with you guys and women who are… shall we say… ‘forbidden?’

Maybe I’m just neurotic, but I feel like most men have a wandering eye.  Actually, you know what?  I’m tired of making excuses for myself.  I’m not neurotic.  I’ve had infidelity and disrespect in my relationships, and let me tell you, IT SUCKS.


At first I thought it was just me, which is bullcrap, because why wouldn’t some guy want to make me their #1?  This is not a PSA to date me or anything, but as Daryl, the SVP of one of the companies I work for and the former Director of Retail Marketing for Nike (as well as Jordan Brand’s Global Marketing Director), put it, “You will make some man very happy someday, Kirbie.”

YES.  Not like I needed a man to tell me that in the first place, but it never hurts to hear that stuff.  Right?  I mean, he has credentials from Nike so that makes him important in my book.  (PS: that quote makes him sound creepy, but we were talking about basketball and who I thought should be traded to and from the Lakers, what I think needs to happen for Chi to pull off a win tonight, and more importantly, my new Nikes.  This obviously upped my awesomeness in eyes.)

So now that I’ve hopped off my high horse, like I was saying, at first I thought it was just me that was the issue.  But as it turns out, all guys like the forbidden fruit.  As if this wasn’t acted out in real life enough (Tiger, anyone?), Something Borrowed (the movie) made this even more plain and clear.

For example?

When Dex (who is cheating with his fiance’s best friend, Rachel) thinks Rachel is sleeping with some other guy.  The MINUTE he hears this (which buy the way, she’s not), he’s calling her incessantly, texting her a thousand times.  He’s all about Rachel the minute she grows some gonads and starts to ignore him.  Then, Ethan (Rachel’s bestie) confesses his love (“like”) for her, and says something to the effect that he liked her even more when he found out she was in love with someone else.


Here’s how most women operate:

Go out to the club, bar, party, gathering, what-have-you —> meet a guy  —> have  a great conversation with him, and then one of three things happen:  1) Look towards the ring finger.  Anything on it?  Yes, proceed with caution. No, work some magic and see what happens.  2) Ask your friends about his relationship status.  Revert to the yes/no directions from #1.  3) Inquire about his relationship status during your convo.  Again, revert to the yes/no directions from #1.

See, women will always inquire about the/a relationship.  Why?  Because we’re curious, and we don’t trust any man to be loyal or honest to their woman. Because frankly, men, whether in a relationship or not, will flirt with other women.  Sometimes the girlfriend can be in the same room and he’ll flirt with another woman.  And of course the girlfriend will be pissed at the other girl, but really, we’re pissed because our boyfriends can’t seem to keep their eyes only on us.  And I don’t need any backtalk from you women who have found those guys who don’t “look around.”  Let’s just pretend all men are like this for this post’s sake, okay?  Thanks.

Don’t believe me?  I kissed a guy once, who, for the record, I was not interested in. (Pesky shots…)  Two weeks later, he admitted to me that he had a girlfriend, she was pissed (apparently as he was getting my number, she called and the phone answered, and she heard him talking to another girl),  and might or might not be calling my work to ask about what happened.  I mean, I don’t roll around kissing men who are taken.  I just assume if someone is going to lay one on me, they’re single.  But I guess that’s ludicrous at this point.

Is cheating on your girlfriend ever a good idea? No.  Is helping someone else cheat on their significant other (knowingly) ever a good idea?  NO.

More importantly, women usually back off from the guys with the girlfriend (unless they’re vengeful skanks that have Daddy issues and are in constant need of attention.  In that case, they’ll work harder to “steal” the man from their girlfriend.  Ladies, if your boyfriend takes the bait and actually gets with, or worse, hooks up with the vengeful slut… then you shouldn’t have been with him anyway.  May they be happy together in Hell.).  We’re not all like, “Oh, you have someone you’re with already?  That makes you even more attractive!”  Yes, I’ll admit that it seems like all the good guys are taken these days, but I’m not trying to steal a man from another woman.  I’m one of those chicks who puts herself in another woman’s shoes.  I’m all about the womanly bond and I’m not here to shatter it into pieces, ya hear?

I think it’s not so much the forbidden aspect of a woman, but the chase.  Even if a girl is single, if she doesn’t give the man the time of day, for whatever reason this makes her more appealing.  Maybe this even makes her mysterious to some men.  Who knows.  Ladies, if you’re looking for love, perhaps playing games with their heart works the best?  Oh LIFE.  So complicated.

Point being: guys, please, get your acts together.  If you meet a chick and she’s awesome, and you like her, or if you LOVE HER, and then you don’t act on it, and then she meets someone else, it’s your loss.  I fully believe that life works out the way it should.  So if you didn’t act on it, then maybe it’s because you weren’t supposed to.  If you did, then it will work out the way it’s supposed to.  But chasing after women who are hard-to-get is an effort to be saved for those women who are single, not the ones who are in a relationship.

Gracias in advance, and denada for the insight.  🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s