Bachelor Pad Recap: Move on already

Do you watch Bachelor Pad? Embarrassingly so, I do. It’s my guiltiest of pleasures, more guilty than Jersey Shore. At least in Jersey Shore, they’re paid to be there and they’re not subjecting themselves to complete humilation by way of group competitions. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Jersey Shore is an embarrassment, but Bachelor Pad goes above and beyond.

Holly and Michael engaged

CliffsNotes version: Michael and Holly, both castoffs from previous Bachelorette/Bachelor seasons, met, hit it off and started a relationship. Michael proposed to Holly last year. For whatever reason, she said no. I think they broke up, then got back together, and then Michael ended things with Holly about three months before Bachelor Pad.

 Everyone knows if a contestant is doing a confessional about how they hope their ex won’t be in the house, that they will be. So of course Michael and Holly are reunited after a broken engagement and are forced to live together.

Holly is heartbroken because of Michael; Michael can’t get past that Holly rejected his proposal, but he still loves her so he’s pretty much going to make her life miserable in the house, unintentionally of course.

Here’s the deal: everyone is rooting for Michael and Holly to reignite the flame. However, after winning a few of the competitions, Michael takes Holly out on dates and she confesses (to the cameras, not to him) thats he feels like perhaps they’re meant to be just friends and aren’t supposed to be together; meanwhile, you have Michael crying and confessing his undying love for Holly.

This is peculiar for me. So…. now that Holly is in a house with other men who find her attractive, Michael wants her back? Huh. Who would have thought.

Anyway, last night, Blake, the hot dentist, wins the kissing competition and invites Holly on a date. This causes a fury in Melissa, the house psychopath, because she likes Blake/thought they had an alliance. So Holly and Blake go on this date and Holly is a little hesitant (because of Michael and Melissa), but once they fly to the mountains to ski, she lets her guard down and has a great time. I mean, I know it’s reality TV, but I saw some chemistry between Holly and Blake.

Blake kissing Holly

Meanwhile Michael is at home thinking the worse because Holly has been gone, overnight, with another man for at least 36 hours and she still isn’t home. Holly is in a cabin with Blake making out.

Of course the editing makes Holly seems like the bad guy here. But really, what the hell? Girlfriend denied your proposal and then you dumped her. Sounds like this relationship is more than over, Michael. It’s been lit on fire and burned to ashes. Move on. Let Holly be with Blake. Relationships aren’t supposed to be that hard.

Everyone is still cheering on Holly and Michael, hoping for reconciliation. Last night, Michael kissed Holly, and all she’s been doing in the confessionals is crying because she likes Blake but doesn’t want to hurt Michael. Ohhhh Holly. I have been in your position before and let me just say that you can love someone but not want to be with them. It’s a sad thing to come to terms with. But you shouldn’t stick with someone just because you’re trying to mend their heart.

I’d like to extend that piece of advice to everyone reading. Staying in a relationship to avoid conflict, drama and heartbreak is not worth your time. In fact, it’s a waste of time. Move on to bigger and better (and healthier) relationships and accept that your old relationship has served its purpose.

I’m just hoping for entertainment’s sake that Holly kicks Michael to the curb at some point because we all know she’s better with Blake, but given Holly & Michael are partners in the game, it should create quite the controversy.

Ye ole D-bags: Robert Kardashian

Rob and hoe

I didn’t want to have to do this, because I love the Kardashians. In fact, I fancied Rob at one point; the quiet amongst the storm of K’s. The younger brother with a careful heart, who was in love with his girlfriend.

Then he cheated on her.

I can forgive that. Everyone makes mistakes. But then things got weird. Remember the episode where he talks about his “nickname” to stepdad Bruce? Let me refresh your memory.

“You know what they call me, right?”

“What’s that?”

“Young slay.”

“I thought they called you tiny penis?”

Let’s stop there. Young Slay? Oh, HOW original, Rob. I haven’t heard 17,000 other men here in LA refer to themselves (embarrassingly) as a woman slayer, but I’m glad to you know you’re poking random women with your disco stick and, furthermore, proudly announcing it to the universe a) on your TV show and b) with an idiotic nickname.

Remember that time he got a chick pregnant? I feel like he’s been in the limelight enough to know to wrap it up. I mean, let’s get real here: the guy has zero jobs (no, semi-managing Beach Girl 5 doesn’t count). He has a college degree and is spending the day scratching himself, eating Doritos and playing Halo. Real ambitious, Rob. Oh yeah, and he doesn’t live with his parents anymore! He lives with his sister and her husband. Upgrade!

 I’m sure the family has said it enough, but is anyone attracted to this guy other than the fact that his sisters are all Kardashians?  I am not remotely close to being attracted to him, anymore at least. Hey, maybe he’ll pull his head out and start making his own life, but it seems that he lacks determination it seems… the standard when it comes to being filthy rich. Some of the children may grow up with drive and perseverance; one will probably be left in the dust, since they have been handed everything their entire life. Sad, really. Actually, the really sad part is that after years of not doing anything for themselves, the one time they decide to do something mediocre, everyone applauds them for it.

However, none of the aforementioned things compare when it comes to the hideous display of douchbaggery on his Twitter account:

Verbatim: “Getting a mani/pedi at my crib. Yes I just said that. I get it done once a week. A Woman doesn’t want dirty fingers in her mouth. ROSS!”

Okay. No idea what the Ross reference is, but so help me God – if my little brother ever posted this on Twitter… I would put an immediate end to this idiocracy. Probably by breaking a few of his fingers. “A woman doesn’t want dirty fingers in her mouth?” Filthy, Rob. Just filthy. What a moron.

So Rob, here’s your RSA. Pull yourself together, stop living off your family’s coattails and act like a man. To men everywhere: women need a man they feel secure and safe with. If a man is living off his parents (or whoever) and seems to have no agenda of his own, it’s not looking sunny for the future.

Update: Rob has been confirmed for Dancing with the Stars. Given his current work ethic, I can’t foresee him moving forward in the competition. Maybe Nancy Grace will give him a good tongue lashing to whip him into shape.

Update 2: Rob apparently is going on the show to lose weight. He’s now over 200 pounds. Hmm. I haven’t seen him in awhile, so I never really noticed. He also said, “My mom basically forced me to do this show.” Sounds like a champion!

For the record

Mentervention, if anything, is for women. If men pick up on things I talk about, great. But mostly, it’s for women.

In life, you don’t rant to guys about other guys. (However, I do know men can gossip equally, if not more than women.) You rant to your girlfriends about guys. Your guy friends are the ones you hang out with to feel good, laugh, talk sports, whatever. You don’t get down and dirty about emotions and how you hate how this guy your dating treats you… or whatever.

On the other hand, your guy friends can give great insight to the male species. Hence why I use this blog a lot for surveys. I want to know more about that. I’m curious.

The interesting thing about this blog is that I simultaneously speak to the man and the woman. Sometimes posts are directed towards a specific gender, however, I incorporate the advice to target both men and women. It gets hard sometimes, however, because I am a woman (obviously). It’s hard for me not to feel certain emotions and keep unbiased when addressing things.

The moral of the story? Mentervention isn’t to bash men. It’s not to demasculate, to hurt, to ridicule. Well, maybe ridicule sometimes. Frankly, some things you guys think you can get away with aren’t acceptable. But the blog is meant, truly, to help and be an outlet for women. A “mentervention” started off as something that women needed — not men — because they were dating a loser or someone who didn’t treat them with any respect. From there, it just spawned into a few posts to guys, re: hygeine, proper forms of communication, things you can and cannot do. But for the most part, Mentervention is the scroll accompanying the red flag that’s already been steadily waving in your relationship.

I love men. I hold my male friendships close to my heart because they offer something different than a female companion: brute force. If I’m doing something they don’t like, they’ll call me out on it, no holds barred. Not to mention they’re hilarious. I’m not a feminist; a he-woman man hater. I’m just a chick who calls it like I see it.

Anyway, had to get that out in the open. I’ve become all too accustomed to the question, “Are you afraid of writing Mentervention for fear no man will want to date you?”  Thanks for terrifying me, but no. I’m not afraid that a man will not want to date me based on how I write this column. If a guy doesn’t want to date me because I blog, see ya later. If a man doesn’t want to date me because he doesn’t like the content of this blog, he’s obviously not a guy I’m trying to be with. The man I’m trying to date isn’t riddled with insecurities because his girlfriend writes about the dumb@ss things men do sometimes. :)

The gift card debacle

Alright. We had a debate the other day regarding “loaner” engagement rings, if we can call it that. But another interesting topic was brought up at work.

I was making a Starbucks run when one of my colleagues said he’d pay for mine and handed me a gift card (with a smirk). I was thrilled given I ran through my $800 worth of Starbucks cards that I got for Christmas and my birthday in December last month (I have a problem).

Then, my boss starts to carry on. “Why is it that women get all bent out of shape when you try to pay for something with a gift card?”

What?

“If you’re at dinn-ah (British accent) and you pay with a gift card, on a date, the woman gets upset.”

And the debate begins. How do you feel when a man pays with a gift card on a date?

For me, my feelings are divided. If it’s my boyfriend and we’ve been dating for awhile and we’re in that comfort zone where he has seen me with pimple cream on and I know he drools in his sleep, I could not care less if he pays with a gift card. Really. Just pay the bill and let’s leave, k?

However, if I’m on a first date with someone and they bust out a gift card? I’m starting to think this date is a sham.

This isn’t about the money. It’s about the timing. First dates are where first impressions are made. You are essentially trying to “woo” the other person with your looks and dazzle them with your wit and personality. If a guy busts out a gift card to pay for the meal on the first date, my first thought is: “Who is the gift card from?”

His parents? An ex-girlfriend? Work? Great. I’m glad you’re using their money to pay for our first meal. Gift cards as gifts are great, but they’re impersonal, right? If you gift someone a gift card to an expensive jewelry store, that’s wonderful; if you go in and buy the person a necklace, that’s more special, because you took the time to pick out something you think they may like.

Myself and my friend Natalie talked to various men about this yesterday and they all got bent out of shape because apparently we’re now “spoiled little LA girls,” but the fact of the matter is I would feel this way in Texas and always have felt this way. I get it if a guy is broke and struggling through school or whatever, but why ask out a chick on a date if you know you’re not going to have any monetary funds to support it? You are delusional if you think a girl should pay for the first date. Obviously when a man asks a woman out, the expectation (based on chivalry) is that the man will pay for the date. And we don’t want a man paying for the date by the means of someone else. It’s the principal.

“Well, technically the money a man receives from a job is from his business, not his.” Yeah, whatever. Actually, the money is not given as a gift in the form of a salary, the man worked hard to attain that money, and once it’s in his bank account it’s his. It wasn’t a gift for a six month anniversary from an ex-girlfriend or a Christmas gift from Mom and Dad. Woof.

My boss continued how embarrassing/annoying it was when the waitress goes, “Oh, so you want it all on the gift card?” That she makes a point to mention the gift card instead of just taking it and running the expense. Well, if you’re not ashamed of paying with it, what’s there to hide?

Just be a man about it, guys. Don’t use a gift card on the first date, or the second date, or maybe even the third. Once you’re comfortable with a woman (please use descretion on this one), gift card all the live long day. I don’t care. But keep the charm and romance alive, at least the first few weeks, and pay with your own means. Otherwise you don’t need to be dating if your life isn’t in order.

 

Free bling?

courtesy of Matt Klitscher

I don’t know what it is about me, but I’m always really skeptical when I see something that should be expensive being sold for uber cheap. What’s wrong with it? Is it refurbished? It couldn’t be possible that it was actually being sold for what it really costs… could it?

Call it expensive taste, but I feel like you get what you pay for. Granted, I’m rather frugal with my own money, but if I have to lay down the cash, I want to buy something of quality.

So that’s why I have a real hard time imagining myself accept an engagement ring from my future fiance that he didn’t pay for.

Of course I’m referring to The Bachelorette. Let’s get real here: various surveys I have conducted express that men are crazy about their money. Well, not crazy, but that put a lot of emphasis on that part of life. They don’t want to be married until they’re financially stable, they want a woman that is financially stable, etc. So if he’s going to lay out some three months salary (yes, three months) for woman, she better be “the one.”

Needless to say, the men on The Bachelorette get down on bended knee with a Neil Lane engagement ring, given to them free of any cost. I don’t know how I feel about this. First off, it just seems bizarre. Like driving a Phantom and then parking it in front of the shanty you live in. Not that these guys don’t make good money, but Lord knows they’d never afford that engagement ring to begin with.

I’m all about men trying to give women things they never could have dreamed of, but this is taking it too far. Not to mention if the engagement is broken, the woman returns the ring not to the ex-fiance, but to ABC.

It’s like this: if something is free, you tend to take it, right? (Minus things like STDs which are given for free {well, your dignity is compromised} or Chick-Fil-A at the office.) So these guys are given a free ring — a nice one at that — and think they’re in love with this chick, so why wouldn’t they propose?

I would like to see the guys have to lay down the money for a ring and see what really happens when push comes to shove. I don’t think Ben F. would have proposed if he had to buy the ring himself. I don’t think he was 100% sure Ashley was the one, but given the engagement ring, he was ready to find out. I do think JP would have put down for a ring, however. He seems genuine, right? Not that Ben F. doesn’t appear that way, I just can’t see Ben and Ashley working out.

What a great twist for the finale, right? “Who will buy an engagement ring?” It’s more of a surprise, wondering if the guys will both propose.

As far as hand-me-down rings, it’s a different story. If you have a family heirloom, a la Kate Middleton and Princess Diana’s ring, I feel that has sentimental value attached to it as well. It’s an investment because of the emotional pull.

Investment. A critical word. You invest in a nice home, a car, a computer; why not invest in your marriage? I’m not saying a marriage is to be based off money — that’s the last thing I’m saying. But why not just stay boyfriend and girlfriend if you’re not ready to full invest in the relationship, both emotionally, physically and monetarily?

I’m all about freebies but marriage deserves a little more respect than that.

What boys like

This survey was hilarious. I laughed out loud a few times. Some answers we boldly candid, others make me realize how delusional guys really are.

Over 4th of July weekend, I witnessed quite a few of my guy friends objectify women. And I’m not talking like an occasional glance of the breasties, but like, full out, fondling a woman with their eyes. If that makes any sense.

I was amused and then instantly concerned, given I am a woman (obviously).

Then I had a conversation with a few guys who talked about how Katy Perry was not “guy hot,” but “girl hot.” We all know this distinction exists, but what qualities make someone “guy hot?” Furthermore, the guys commented that they want to marry a beautiful woman, but a date a hot one, because hot women will not be hot later on down the road. It’s really smart logic in that it makes absolutely no sense. So what, you screw a few chicks who look good now, and then try to marry a gorgeous woman later? What distringuishes the hot chicks from the gorgeous ones? Is it not just looks, but a personality trait? I NEED ANSWERS!

Obviously this lead me to wonder what guys look for and what they think when they see a woman, or what they feel when they find out a woman’s occupation, etc.. In my opinion, I think Katy Perry is smoking hot. I want D-sized breasts. I think she’s gorgeous and sexy all at the same time. But to the men I spoke to, her breasts don’t make her hot. They’re “funbags,” if you will. Joy.

So let’s dive in.

1.  I prefer women who are

tan — 62%

fair skinned — 38%

I didn’t get any explanations on this answer… mostly because I didn’t ask for any. Whoopsies. But yeah, lives up to the notion that people just look better with a tan. Might not be the healthiest route (unless it’s in a can), but a tan makes you feel healthier and more appealing. Maybe this correlates to the blondes/brunettes question later on…

2.  I am a

breast guy — 62%

butt guy — 38%

I knew this answer. The fact is that most men want both a perfect rack and a luscious booty, but at the end of the day, “breasts are what distinguish a woman from a man. We all have butts.”  (Literal explanation from the survey.) Hmmm. So I guess our vaginas are irrelevant? Just kidding! But yeah, I know plenty of men with breasts and it’s not a good look. Doesn’t make them a woman, however. Just a few pivotal quotes for this question:

(Why breasts are better) “Why is the icing of an Oreo the best? Cookies are great also (butt in this analogy) but if you held a gun to my head I’d want icing.” Bueller? Anyone? So what you’re saying is… you like my breasts in between my butt cheeks? That my (our) breasts are like icing and you want to lick them? I don’t get it. Just no. Please submit another analogy.

“But to be specific, I am a small breast guy or rather B Cup guy. Why is it more appealling? I’m not sure but when I see nice breast, I imagine kissing them, so I guess that means they look kissable.” Mentervention has now turned into a confessional, folks! I appreciate this candidness but I feel a little awkward right now. Honestly, I do appreciate this insight because now when movies portray men as pervs who constantly think about sex, and I can believe it.

(Why butts are more appealing) “At the risk of sounding crude, guys need something to hold onto.”

As for the booty, the resounding majority vote when it comes to why A is better than T?

 “Well, it is usually found on well rounded (physically) women, therefore, nice butt usually equals nice overall figure. NOT ALWAYS TRUE. Also, breast implants can solve the chest issue, if needed.” I’m really curious to know what makes a butt “good” to men. It is large? Firm? Most men who chose A over T said this exact thing — that a woman has to work for a great butt, and she must have a great rest of her body. Fact: I know women with plump, firm bottoms that look like trolls. I guess the stars have to align…

3. I prefer:

A doctor 38%

A teacher 31%

A journalist 31%

(On doctors) “Shows that she is dedicated to something besides herself, and probably knows how to get things done. A woman who may not need you is pretty attractive.” Fact. Thinking about it, I blew off every guy I’ve dated in the beginning. Must a be a challenge type of thing…?

(On teachers) “I wouldn’t want to date someone with such a hectic schedule as a doctor. I respect the profession but that just sounds like a lot of last minute planning. Journalist women are cool but completely feel like they have EVERYTHING to prove to EVERYONE and end up flaunting themselves to the point of embarrassment. Such vanity. Nice girl to date for a little bit but not for long. A teacher would be a nice, sweet, motherly character. Plus, whenever she wanted to be taboo it would be crazy hot.” Oh, so you know a journalist? Dated one? Do tell. (Rant forthcoming.)

(On journalists) “Shows ambition.”

TANGENT TIME: Apparently if you’re a teacher, you’re more nuturing than anyone else on the planet; a doctorate degree means you’re independent and career-oriented, and journalists are just low-life “snoops” and “too analytical” — based on the answers I received. No disrespect to either professions because I have wonderful, intelligent friends in both fields; kudos to both. But this infuriates me.

I guess I provided the option of journalist because I am an aspiring one. No, blogging doesn’t put me in the same category, unfortunately. But what, I’m a menace to society because I’m curious about how other people feel and think? I want to know what makes the world go round? Mind you, none of you men give two craps about how “sneaky” and “vain” journalists are when you’re reading the work of one or seeing it on broadcast televison  –  you just wouldn’t want to date one…

Newsflash: careers that are depicted in movies are dramatic. Grey’s Anatomy is not how real hospitals operate. Gale Weathers (Scream) is one in a million when it comes to reporters. Yes, I deal with the media quite often and know they can be backstabbing and unfair, however, I admire plenty of women journalists because they dare to ask questions and find answers: Oprah for one, and namely Diane Sawyer.

I also have to throw in there that most people I associate with come to me to help them out, because they’re the ones being too analytical with relationships or whatever. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to tell my girlfriends to stop over-thinking things when it comes to a boy! You can separate work from your career. End of story. But trust, Taryn Brooks doesn’t call me “Nancy Drew” for nothing. Thanks Google for helping me endlessly find any minute detail I may be seeking.

4. What is the single most attractive thing about a woman?

“LOWER BACK DIMPLES.”  This person has to be from my office. The other week we were talking about how I have these. (Long story.) No, not cellulite, a-holes (although we all have it). It’s like… I don’t know the proper term for them. A snake bite? Whatever. They’re two indentations right above your bum, at the small of your back. I don’t know. But now I know someone overheard my conversation… and the entire free world knows I have them. No shame.

“True understanding of herself. There’s a period between 25 and 27 when most women figure out who they are that’s incredibly sexy. It’s not about confidence or fake confidence. It’s more of a self-actualization and acceptance of who they are. As a man, it’s much easier to deal with women who have gone through this because it doesn’t seem like they are playing games or are “crazy” as most guys would say.” Search Menterverntion.com for “Quarter Life Crisis,” then get back to me. Men are 100x more unstable than women at this age. #Bible

“The right type of confidence. A woman is attractive when:
a) she knows what she wants but is willing to compromise when necessary,
b) she speaks her mind but also includes others in the conversation,
c) she is sure of herself but does not take herself too seriously,
d) she knows that she is beautiful but is not consumed by it”

This is a great answer. Kudos to this man. Great thoughts and well-written. Women need to frame it and put it on their wall. I’m half-tempted to Google it and see if it’s some Plato quote or something…

The majority answer as far as personality was sense of humor, with intelligence a close second. As far as looks, the emphasis is on the eyes.

5. Pick One:

5’5” 66%

5’11” 34%

I wonder if I had put 5’7” instead of 5’11”, if men would have voted for that one more? I bet so. I think 5’5” is the average height for a woman. Most people I have dated have joked about my height and their wish would be for me to be a few inches taller. I had a complex about it when I used to be proud of my height. Listen, I am a catch just the way I am. If you want to date someone taller, by all means, please do so. I can be 5’9 1/2” with heels if need be. But that’s all you’re getting from this chick.

I don’t want to be taller. There is something so sexy to me about being my height and having a tall man next to you. Yum.

6. I don’t date girls that:

The number one answer with 89% is SMOKING! YES. Shout out to all my ladies who smoke — on a girl-to-girl level? Not cute. Just stop. You smell, you look like trash, and you smell — real bad. Even smoking recreationally is foul.

Runner up is when a girl is superficial and cares about looks and money. Interesting since in past surveys, you guys talk about how important financial security is for you, not to mention you talk about wanting a “proportional” woman with a nice ass and big breasts.

7. Pick one:

Blondes 31%

Brunettes 69%

Well fine then. Listen, I think hair color is ridiculous. Some brunettes are never meant to be blondes and vice versa. I know that while I would love to be a dark brown chick, I couldn’t do it. Wouldn’t be “me.” I would look heinous. Just like Katy Perry looks hid with her new blonde-orange hair she has going. Woof.

What is it about brunettes? Sex appeal? Are blondes sugary sweet and brunettes buxom and bodacious? What is it about a brunette? Do you take them more seriously? I know that I am not taken seriously by men and women until they see me at work. Then I get some street cred. That or until I rap ‘Forgot About Dre.’ Either/or.

8. Pick:

Good in bed: 51.72%

Good cook: 31.48%

Good at sports: 6.9%

Shocker! Sexual chemistry is a must. For the two idiots who chose ‘good at sports’… athleticism is fleeting. I’m sure you probably think athleticism equates to a great bod and that she will transfer those athletic genes to your children, right? #getagrip

9. My ideal woman is:

She’s a brunette! Natalie Portman had the majority of the write-in votes.

One vote behind? Carrie Underwood. (YEAH GIRL!)

Other notable options? Sharon Osbourne and her “stand-by-your-man-ness”, Claire Huxtable, Jennifer Aniston (#3) Tami Taylor (Friday Night Lights), Julie Bowen and Kate Middleton (#4). Also, some of my guy friends totally gave themselves away with those answers!

Funny thing is that to me, all of these women are gorgeous. Not hot — but stunningly beautiful with personality to boot. So ladies, strive not to be the hot chick on the block! Have some dignity and wit about you and you’re golden.

I actually had someone comment that I was their ideal woman. This person clearly hasn’t met me. Are you crazy?

In all seriousness, I am flattered and a tad embarrassed to be quite honest. Whoever you are — thank you for the kind words. I appreciate it. And thank you for reading the blog.

10. I want a woman who: (some of the best answers)

 “… pushes and challenges me to be something better than what I am alone. Life in my mind is a series of self-improvements, but there is only so far the average person can discipline themselves to be ever-striving for their goals. I want someone who is going to make sure that I achieve what I want out of life the same way as I would do for them.”

“I don’t have to perform around.”

“Loves God, loves others, loves me. Doesn’t get caught up in the world, cherishes the good instead of dwelling on the negative, and actively works against taking anything for granted.”

“Is undeniably herself. A woman that is enhanced with relationships with others but is perfectly happy/content on her own, pursuing her passion. I would love for her to be a 10/10 physically but at the end of the day the definition of a “perfect 10″ is so distorted and subjective that it is a endless endeavor to define it with any finality. An amazing personality can enhance any woman’s appearance ten-fold.”

“Wants me. I want to feel special and know that I am the guy she wants.”

Shout out to the guys who quoted Cake and Blessid Union of Souls (“Short Skirt/Long Jacket” and “Hey Leonardo”). I agree, I want a guy  with a mind like a diamond, I want a guy that knows what’s best. I want a guy with the right allocations, who is fast, and thorough and sharp as a tack. (I’m done.)  

By the way, is it a genetic flaw that none of you guy want to start sentences with capital letters? Did you skip that day in kindergarten? Seriously. I had to edit all these responses to include capitals. 

Thanks to everyone who participated. I know some of you were anticipating the results. By the way, I give men a hard time but I am not a hater. I love men. In fact, I want to marry one some day. Sometimes I get disappointed by you guys but let’s face it, at the end of the day I’m hoping to find a special guy to call my own at some point or another. God knows it won’t be Zac Efron or Justin Timberlake because I’ve professed my love for both of them so much online that if we ever dated, they’d find it and call things of real quick. I should go through an delete all mentions of their names, but that would mean deleting my blog in its entirety.

In the mean time, I will analyze surveys like the snoop I am…

Feel free to leave explanations in the comments section if you have any gonads to admit you took the survey. :)

Just for fun, with no relevance at all, here’s Buddy Holly by Weezer and Motivation by Kelly Rowland and Weezy. So sexy.